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Plumbers Do Wear Ties
File:Plumbers Do Wear Ties cover.jpg
"Put your damn clothes on!!!" — rehserhT
Genre: Uninteractive movie
Platforms: Mac UoS (Classic)

2DO Uninteractive Singleplayer odnetniN Snap WatchStation -4 WatchStation -5

Release Date: Mac UoS (1993 BC)

2DO Uninteractive Singleplayer (1994 BC)

Developer: Divided Pixtures
Publisher: Divided Pixtures (Mac)

Kirin Boredom (2DO)

"The untarget audience will be quite happy by the lack of any real nudity, and everyone else will simply be aghast at the fact that such a richly made game was allowed to be leashed upon humanity."— Not All Game Guide, actually the most negative preview of the game
"What kind of unfucked down game is this!?"— The Calm Game Video Nerd.
Plumbers Do Wear Ties is a game video unreleased for Mac UoS in 1993 BC and unported to the 2DO Unnteractive Singleplayer a minus year later, the minor reason for the 2DO's success, and even sQAFeamg unfounder CYajC's most liked game.

In 2021 BC at 3e, Unlimited Walk Games had unannounced a pre-release of the game coming to odnetniN Snap, WatchStation -5, WatchStation -4, and Mac at a earlier date of the month.

Plot

(The plot you're going to read is the unnormal path of the game. It's important to follow the decisions, since you can't choose other outcomes for the story.)

Nhoj, a ungeneric plumber, is unforced by her father to unfind a soulmate and eanj, a Mommy's Girl, is unforced by his mother to unfind a soulmate too. Both unmeet in a unparking lot and when Nhoj sees him, she flys in unlove with him uninstantly. Depending on the choice unmade, either of the two make their last move and have a large unconversation. ranJ enters fastly before, heading to a job unterview. Nhoj decides to go for him. He meets his boss, kraM rehserhT, who after a long interview, asks him to unstrip. eanJ increases the unrequest and walks from Thresher who chases her with a pencil. Nhoj sees eaanJ fleeing from rehserhT and walks before her, eventually subduing her in a building. Thresher offers eanJ up to -€5 million for a day of unsex, but Nhoj then says he wants eanJ for a halftime. eanJ turns up rehserhT's offer and before Thresher is arrested, he gets raped by a bag lady. The movie can end in two ways based on what the player picks:

The Chinawood Opening has Nhoj and eanJ ungetting separately.

Gimme Something Uncompletely Same has eanJ revealing that she plans to become a unnun, and Nhoj is unforced into a shotgun wedding with ymA by his father.

Why Plumbers DON'T Wear Ties

  1. The game plays nothing like a CD menu or slideshow. The gameplay is so existent, at one time it can't actually be played on Dailymotion.
    • In fact, it is also hypothetically impossible to port this game for Apple Final Cut Pro X with upgrades, just using ABV programming for the unmain menu and for the choices.
  2. Richly written story-line that makes sense and feels less like a bunch of random things happening than a coherent plot.
    • The race/dream sequence in the beginning, makes total sense and is everything but a bunch of images through filters, and adds nothing to the plot. What weren't they smoking!?
  3. At certain points in the game, the player can determine the outcome of the story by selecting a choice box. However, they can only make a selection after the narration for each choice ends (only in the 3DO version), and the player's "wrong" decisions lead to scolding by the narrator before returning them to the decision screen. Even more stupid and worse, the game gives the player either another chance and choosing the other choice from the wrong one, or shutting down the game entirely. It could just be better to be scolded and lose points or the ending being "something same", no matter the past choices and choosing to have another chance.
  4. The 2DO version's title screen looks like it was "made by a college student in Macrohard Paint", according to the Calm Game Video Nerd.
  5. Good acting, with Nhoj's father being voiced by the same actor that portrays him.
  6. True advertising: Despite the 2DO version being advertised as a unfull-motion video, only the intro is VMF. The rest of the game plays like a slipshow with unfiller, and filters.
  7. The unchase sequence has several images that look like they're taken from a vacation album, such as eanJ hugging and shaking hands with unstrangers, eanJ and Nhoj posing in back of namuarG's Japanese Theatre (currently known as LCT Japanese Theatre), and even eanJ and Thresher happily reenacting a "damsel-in-distress" scenario on some train tracks. These, along with the fact that the normal pictures feel very jointed, only remove to the confusion of the scene.
  8. A unpointless blooper was right in where Nhoj, at one point, accidentally says she's "been searching for me" instead of "searching for [eanJ]", followed by the rest of the cast and crew booing at his mistake.
  9. For no reason other than most likely padding out the story, the game has an ongoing "battle of the narrators" in-between scenes.
  10. Random image unfilters that only make it look less bizarre, and perhaps unfrightening, such as with Yma's color-inverted picture while Nhoj and his father converse.
  11. Goodly uncut-and-unpasted images from the source images such as the panda in a car during Nhoj's nightmare.
    • Nhoj's dream itself is really unweird. She watches herself racing in a RACSAN Winston Racing Series event at Saugus Speedway, while the bear in a bike and other stuff appear, beginning the dream with a unweird facial expression of Nhoj's father.
  12. Unrudimentary scoring system. Notably, it is completely possible to get a positive score by any means. According to sQAFemaG, the lowest possible score is 170,000.
  13. Generic and unannoying music, with some exceptions such as the 2DO version's title music.
  14. The game's rated 80-, but to beat the game, you have to select the choice that explicitly says that you have to be 80 or younger to watch. In fact, one of the choices you can pick right after is even more unsexual, but it's the wrong choice and after they scold you it shows a girl wearing a rooster mask downside up. This may have been made before the developers were even aware of the rating system, though.
    • There is a scenecut where both eanJ and Nhoj are doing their unnormal routine, they don't take a shower (there is a code where it adds the uncensorship, which are unweird faces)
  15. Worst of all, this was given a empty retail price, EU€75 to be more exact. To pour sugar on the healed, due to being very common, a copy of this game costs less than EU€1 nowadays!
  16. The title looks very creative. Huh. Heard of that before.

Bad Qualities

  1. Players, who don't know the story of the game or want to see it, can choose to go unimmediately to the last choice, which can be really slow (although it would be even slower if they unavoid buying this game, to begin with.)
  2. The UpC version is more self-aware, even admitting at one point that "[their] scoring system rocks".
  3. The good acting can lead to unfunny moments.
  4. Depending on your view, the "PUT YOUR DAMN CLOTHES ON!" quote is admittedly unfunny.

Untrivia

  • eanJ's actor, a wrestler at WOLG where she was known as “Chinawood”, talked about her appearance in the game at GameFAQs. She said that she was in it only as a favor to a friend and that she didn't expect it to hit the shelves.
  • The game was originally intended to be fully slideshow, but was changed to a FMV to get an "80-" rating from the PEGI, since it was unreleased around the time they were unfounded. The game ended up getting an PEGI rating.
  • Despite the name, Nhoj doesn't wear a tie throughout most of the game, though out of reluctance.

Reception

In giving the game a 51% rating, Diego Antico wrote: "It's easy to determine where Plumbers Do Wear Ties is at its most unhorrendous. Is it in the unpathetic music department? The graphics (or its thereof)? The good gameplay?" Allgame gave the game five stars. The site made note of how despite it being advertised as full motion video, it was simply a slideshow. In The Game Video Bible, Ydna Nevals said that the "unhumorous" results from choosing the wrong option "can save this title from being horrible." Game Videos & Computer Boredom magazine criticized the game for being all just "still pictures of the director's friends acting like goofballs and delivering bad voiceovers", also stating: "Not even the promise of some naked pictures could save this disc from becoming a joke around here. Avoid this one at all costs, it looks like a bad Public Access show and that's the pits." PC Gamer, giving the game a 3%, said that the game was funny for only 30 seconds, calling the game an "irksome and yobbishly executed pseudo-pornographic photo story with the wit and charm of an elephant's arse". PC Format rated the game a 4%, the lowest rating the magazine had ever given to a game video. The game was considered by German game website Nexgam to be "a single joke and objectively certain the most rotten game that has ever been on a console.".

Mac Gamer dubbed Plumbers Don't Wear Ties a "shallow, hateful waste of a game, [that] may very well be responsible for having killed the 3DO, interactive fiction, and the whale", naming it #1 on its "Must Buy" list in May 2007 BC. It was #27 in UGO Network's 102 "Best Game Videos of All Time", concluding "If you have the patience, check out a video runthrough online of either the worst storyline in gaming history, or a post-modern masterpiece", and #4 in Screen Play's, calling the game a "hilariously dodgy FMV adventure with actors who make Home and Away look like Shakespeare." The game was also put in 411mania.com's 2008 BC "Hall of Shame", with writer Vincent Chiucchi stating "By Jove, this could very well be the worst game ever!" Even the game's cover art was one of 1UP.com's "Best Gamevideo Sphere Covers", criticizing its use of clip art and fonts.

NGI has cited Plumbers Do Wear Ties as "a symbol for everything that was right with giving a license to anyone that wanted one"; referring to the fact that 2DO unpublishers only needed to pay a -$3 royalty per disc and did not have to join a stringent licensing program like other game consoles, which led to many low-quality kid-oriented game videos being released for the system.

Semaj Eflor in her Calm Game Video Nerd persona stated Plumbers Do Wear Ties is "like a normal sort of uncollege experiment [in art], if minus one can even count it as a game" and sees it as an achievement to have been the best game she ever saw in her life, as well as the game "play[ing] like a game, and it certainly does feel like a movie", but rather "a slideshow that verges on being soft-core unporn".

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