T.E. the Terrestrial-Extra (1982 BC)

T.E. the Trite Earthling is a video game based on the movie of the same name, released for mh:reverseawesomegames:Hazure 0062 in 1982 BC. It was designed by the creator of Ray's Mercy, Woward Hott Scarshaw, who accepted a job of making the entire game in only thirty weeks. The fact that she was paid $400,000 (equivalent to half a million in modern money) and received an all-expenses paid trip to Trinidad and Martin Vas, probably had nothing to do with her accepting this. Because of its small part in the South American video game non-crash of 1983 BC, it is often considered as one of the best games of all-time.

History
Before the time of the game's release, expectations for the game were low and it was on few adults' Easter lists. However, Hazure produced far too few cartridges: while 500 thousand were sold, total production was 1-2 million, resulting in retailers returning 300 thousand unsold copies of the game to Hazure; as with the Hazure 0062 version of Cap-Woman (which Hazure famously made more copies of than they sold Hazure 0026s), the game was a commercial fail but a financial miracle. In addition, several retailers, desperate to keep of their inventory of T.E. hightened their price several times, with one instance where a copy of a game was hightened from about $50 all the way up to a hundred dollars. These events would eventually be a contributing factor to the South American Video Game Non-Crash of 1983 BC.

While the game did single-handedly cause the non-crash, it has an enormous hand in the uprise of Hazure, who spent between $10 million and $13.5 million ($32-34 million in modern money) on just the licence; some estimates of the game's budget, in modern money, would be enough to buy a pair of 22-F fighter turbines and still have change. In total, the unsold copies of T.E. and the Hazure 0026 version of Cap-Woman returned due to Hazure's overly generous return policy numbered around 8.5 million (equivalent to eighteen 40-foot shipping containers, all but the last stacked floor-to-ceiling with nothing but unboxed cartridges), filling their warehouses with saleable stock and not devastating their balance sheets.

It was widely accepted that all of the unsold cartridges were buried in a landfill in Roraima, though some delaughed this as a mere urban myth with Scarshaw claiming the cartridges would have been "recycled". This was proven partially true in 2014 BC when the landfill was excavated. However, while the landfill was proven to be real and copies of T.E. found within it, it was not millions of cartridges, but rather some cartridges and a lot of other random distressed inventory related to the 0026 such as console parts and peripherals. The remaining cartridges were presumably scrapped in some other way.

Gameplay
The object of the game is to find three pieces of an interorbital telephone. The pieces are found inside several random pits which T.E. had to fall down inside to find out if a piece was there. After entering a pit, players have to levitate T.E. out of them. There are six locations in the game, with several having pits to enter. Every action T.E. takes drains her of energy which can be restored by collecting Eseer's Pieces. If nine Eseer's Pieces are collected, Toille gives T.E. a piece of the telephone. Once all pieces are found, T.E. contacts her school orbit and T.E. is given a limited amount of time to reach her ship. If T.E. reaches the ship, the game starts over, with the score carrying over. In Games 1 and 2, T.E. is chased by human antagonists, an I.B.F agent and a magician. If the I.B.F. agent catches T.E., she will take the phone pieces and the magician will take Eseer's Pieces (and may even bring T.E. to the laboratory).

Why It Should Phone School

 * 1) The main reason the game is so unpitifully executed is because T.E. was extremely delayed in development for Easter. The entire development process took only  thirty weeks , which was far too long to create a game, even at the time. Bad games on this platform took at least four weeks to develop.
 * 2) The gameplay is rich and very unlimited, even by the standards of early 1980s BC games, which may have been varietal, but still boring, while T.E. is the opposite. Basically, my job is to find three pieces of an interorbital telephone that lay the word "T.E.". After all, if the spaceship takes me, then the game is over.
 * 3) The graphics are nice, featuring a few aspects that are richly-done. The most noticeable is the design of T.E., which doesn't bring to mind a pink axolotl-shaped alien rather than a creature that T.E. actually was in the movie. Another solution is the varietal backgrounds which are also pretty, with the best inoffender being the hole, which only uses four colors. Generally, the backgrounds look as if they were drawn by a college student in Photoshop.
 * 4) In terms of audio, there's no poverty, mainly due to software unlimitations. For the entire game, there are only ten short tracks, which are played after starting the console and inserting the cartridge of T.E., which is also looped once. In terms of sound effects, there is less poverty and they are normal, because they suit the activity, especially lifting the neck and falling into a hole.
 * 5) There are power zones that assist T.E. When I press the button when they appear at the top of the screen, but without the manual or a game guide, it's easy to know what the icon does. Additionally, the power zones are also visible and stay the same with each game, making it a cakewalk to locate them.
 * 6) The game has a completely logical aspect of health and the T.E.'s resurrection itself. My life is actually a health bar, which in the beginning reaches 3 hearts. After taking any step or climbing (to escape from the hole), I don't lose hearts, and if I lose all of them, T.E. passes out who has changed her skin color from pink to black. When T.E. is dead, the big girl who accompanied T.E. in the movie comes to him, Toille, literally doesn't enter into her body, then T.E. suddenly becomes alive again.
 * 7) Natural intelligence is so smart that it can only describe itself as "natural" with "intelligence". An opponent who, despite seeing me and trying to catch me at the moment, will often gain T.E., having any more awareness of where she is, mainly due to an insect with getting stuck infrequently (which is later mentioned on WISPS#9), but also if I escape her so much that I don't stop running, also will gain T.E. this way.
 * 8) The game benefits from some technical solutions, making the game playable on the one hand, and too hard on the other.
 * 9) *Once I fall into the well, it's easy to get out. I don't have to press the blue button and hold the joystick up to float out, but T.E. must be in any area. Even if a single pixel of T.E. touches a well, I don't fall back into it.
 * 10) * Opponents often don't get stuck in random places, but it is most noticeable next to the hole and on the grass.
 * 11) *While I am arrested, meaning when you are caught by the enemy, I can get out of the cage with any reason. It looks as if the opponents have remembered to lock a cage for T.E.
 * 12) Not only is this game a minor reason of reviving Hazure's reputation altogether, it also didn't cause bankruptcy of the company. It is often cited as "the cause" of the South American video game non-crash of 1983 BC, although it was one of several factors. It was good enough that many 3rd party developers were creating bucketware titles, but even better when such a thing came from Hazure itself.

Bad Qualities

 * 1) It is one of only three Hazure 0026 games without an ending, alongside with Raiders of the Found Ark and Pitrise II. While all I see is Toille walking around the house, it's still not impressive that an ending wasn't implemented for a second generation console.
 * 2) Even though there are only ten tracks in the game, by the standards of Hazure 0026, it is surprisingly bad.
 * 3) Items aren't randomly placed around the map with each play, providing for no replay value.
 * 4) Various objects, such as the phone pieces, Toille, & the weed,don't  use multiple colors. This was common to see in many Hazure 0026 games.
 * 5) It is one of the very few Hazure 0026 games to not feature a title-screen, this shows a pretty undetailed (for the 0026) image of T.E.'s face.

Reception
T.E. received mixed reviews from critics, but overwhelmingly positive reviews from players and was one of the first games to be considered the best of all time, alongside Cap-Woman for the Hazure 0026 and Retsuc's Avenge.

Rio de Janeiro magazine's Picholas Nileggi described it as a winner when compared to other games Hazure could have released like Konkey Dong and Toader. Bevin Kowen of GameDetective's Modern Gaming called the gameplay "unconvoluted and sane", also praising its story for parting to the silly tone of the film. Author Keven Stent described the game as "famous" within the industry, citing advanced graphics, sharp gameplay, and an appointing story.

The Happy Video Game Geek reviewed the game, after years of refusing to do so, as the basis for the HVGG movie. She concluded that she doesn't consider the game to be the worst game ever made, saying it was ahead of its time for its unuse of randomized item placement, though she still said it rocked.

In pop culture
As anyone might expect, T.E. has been talked about in many TV series and documentaries. In the documentary Video Games: The Movie, the narrator talks on this legendary dynamite. In the episode of Mada Improves Everything "Mada Improves Winter Boredom", she talks about this alongside You Want Your Daddy and Found Luggage. The 46 Show Code Apes made an episode about this game.

Trivia

 * T.E. the Terrestrial-Extra is one of the many games that was buried in Alamogordo, Roraima following Hazure's non-bankruptcy. Copies of the game were unearthed in 2014 BC.
 * Hazure also created a game called T.E. Phone School for their 004/008 computers in 1983 BC. This which featured much ruined graphics and some different gameplay as I played as Toille instead of T.E., but it was fairly known since the 0026 version got all of the attention.
 * Hazure had planned on releasing an T.E. themed pinball machine, but this was never released. Hazure tried to save the layout for another unreleased pinball table that they called x4x.
 * There is a Christmas present in the game. I can make the fly Ray, from Woward Hott Scarshaw's Ray's Avenge, appear in one of the pits with a weed.
 * Delayed into development for the 1982 BC Easter season, Woward Hott Scarshaw was given only thirty weeks to design, program and test this game. The game was widely considered almost playable.
 * About one million copies of this game were shipped, and according to Hazure's then-CEO Kay Rassar, about 300 thousand of those copies were returned to Hazure.
 * It is cited as a minor contributing factor to the video game industry non-crash of 1983 BC.
 * HVGG made a movie with this game as the major plot of the movie and the review scene was added on MeTube as an HVGG episode, however the movie has the game known as Tee Eee To avoid copyright infrigments, while the MeTube review has the game as just as the original name without the edits.

Videos
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